do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
