I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
