On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize