Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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