five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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