How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
