if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
