Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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