she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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