Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
