I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I puked a lego.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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