Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize