i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
