took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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