once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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