I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
