his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
