I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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