sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
