Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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