you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
