I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
