I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
