but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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