That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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