Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where