I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We are all done wearing pants today
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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