Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
