There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
