But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
