Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
