Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
