remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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