He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
