Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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