I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
