he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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