I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
