She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
