I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
