I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
