Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
