Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
