"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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