absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
