Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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