suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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