I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
