Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
