Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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