You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
