Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
