We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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