Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
