We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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