when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
