Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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